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For I know
the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future.
Jeremiah 29:11
For you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works
are wonderful, I know that
full well.
Psalm 139:13-14
You can
make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.
Proverbs
19:21
Isn't
our Lord so sweet and tender in the way He reveals truth to us? As I raise my
hands in worship, fall on my knees before Him, or pray in my bed at night over
worries and fears for tomorrow, God always reminds me of His might, His
goodness, and His loyalty. A few nights ago, I was worshipping to Steffany
Gretzinger's "Out of Hiding" before bed, when the Holy Spirit gave me
inspiration for this post. "Out of Hiding" is a plea from Jesus to
drop our defenses and give into His love. The song is filled with love-soaked
promises and declarations, and the line that sunk an arrow into my heart echoes
throughout the bridge.
"Oh
as you run, what hindered love will only become part of the story."
When I heard that line, the Holy Spirit gave me an image of
an elaborately intertwined vine growing up, over, and around a pale pink
flower. He told me that the flower was me, was you, was him and her, and that
His plan for our lives and His love for us are as entangled with our everyday
lives as the vines and weeds of an untamed garden. A few summers ago at a youth
conference, God used a series of events to show me how elaborate and intricate
His plans for me are, and I firmly believe that His plan for you is no more or
less than His plan for me. Every person you meet, every decision you make,
every opinion that you allow to become a fact in your heart and mind are part
of the glorious unfolding He wants to bring through your humble life. Psalm 139
declares that God knit every piece of you, that He personally selected every
fiber and thread of your being to form the person you are today. Whether you
like the yarns that form you or not, He has a purpose in each one. One version
of Psalm 139:14 reads "the greatness of the way I was made brings
fear." That means your formation was so glorious, so grandiose, that the
method would bring awe and wonder to man if we could understand it. You were
placed on earth for a divine purpose, to bring attention to the Gospel and the
God behind it in some way.
On a deeper level, past the basics of your formation, God has
handwritten your story in a series of sagas and chronicles that will take a
lifetime to peruse. God's plans are to prosper you, to give you hope and a
future with Him. Unfortunately we live in a sin-ridden world and have been
given the free will to
obey or not to obey God's plan, so there's a high chance that we may take some
detours and wrong turns every now and then. The incredible aspect of our
omniscient God is that He knows the route we'll choose to take anyway, and His
plan leaves plenty of opportunity for us to jump back on the straight and
narrow path. Imagine a windy, lengthy road map filled with ample rest stops and
scenic outlooks. The path God has for you may involve a steep uphill climb, or
a leap of faith across some great gorge, but the end goal for every person is to fall into the arms of
Jesus in eternity. This undeniable truth, that our ultimate purpose is to find
communion with Christ, leads us back to the bridge of "Out of
Hiding." The uphill climb that seemed like a setback in your plan didn't escape
God's notice. The struggle you've had your entire life, the thorn in your side
you can't pinch out, is an integral part of the story God has written for you.
Am I saying that God purposefully puts tragedies and darkness in your life? No.
What I mean to tell you is that there isn't any chapter of your life too dark
or twisted for God to illuminate. Your eating disorder, the abuse you
experienced in childhood, the loneliness you feel engulfed by today, the
financial anxieties you're chained to, and the distorted image you see
reflected in the mirror can all be used in your story for God's glory.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my struggle with forgiveness.
The majority of the people I had to forgive were first graders, second graders,
and third graders who abandoned me as a little girl, kids who picked on me for
being uncoordinated, middle class, or just plain different from other girls.
The reasons for their teasing are so insignificant as an adult, but the jabs
and cuts they left on me formed scars that have shaped my self-image for the
past twelve years. Instead of acknowledging my acceptance in the kingdom of
heaven, I focused on the rejection that plagued me throughout childhood. I
began reading obsessively to avoid social interaction, because if I didn't talk
to anyone, than no one could reject me. Later in adolescence, I became consumed
with dating and romance because I believed that if someone fell in love with
me, there would be one more person who would never reject me. Eventually, every
aspect of my appearance and character was scrutinized to make sure I measured up
to the person I believed everyone wanted me to be. My middle and high school
years were exhausting, depressing, and so distant from God's plan. Graduating
high school was a relief, because I didn't have to put up a facade against the
same people I'd been faking it to for twelve years anymore. If only I'd
realized that no one actually expected me to be the person I tried so hard to
be.
Thankfully, I've experienced tremendous healing from my
childhood pains, and now walking in the identity God created for me. The
all-consuming insecurities and self-hatred I experienced as a preteen and
teenager were painful and damaging, but they have given me immense patience for
the teenagers I see weekly as a youth leader. My history with an eating
disorder causes my heart to break for girls who struggle with body image even
more than I did. I viewed myself in such an unhealthy light as a kid that my
self-image kept me from giving and receiving Christ's love. The very darkness
that hindered love in my life has set a fire in my heart that enables me to
cast a torch over similar struggles in other people's lives. The bridge of
"Out of Hiding" has a grip over me because of the hopefulness it
gives to every struggle you'll ever face.
"Oh as you run [towards God], what hindered [your
acceptance of] love will only become part of the story [God has written for
you]."
God's story for each of us is infinitely more intricate than
we could ever imagine. Every person we meet, every conversation we have, every
opinion we form has a purpose in His inevitably beautiful plan for our lives.
Regardless of what your life looks like now, when God wrote the final chapter
of your story, He leaned back and said "It is good".
