Community

This past weekend, I visited dear friends in Waco, Texas. These girls have loved me more than I thought possible, live for Jesus, and pour themselves out as offerings on a daily basis. They have been the mouthpieces of God more times than I can count, and hold me accountable in every facet of life. These incredible women are my role models and soul sisters. Seeing them again for the first time in 4 months refreshed my spirit and filled my love tank to the brim; after an evening of laughter, snorting (all me), singing, and story-telling, I woke up early the next morning and sat with Jesus. As I sat in my friends' loft with a warm mug in my hands and the morning sunlight peaking through the curtains, I paid more attention to the Holy Spirit than I had in months. There was no urgency to rush through a devotional, jot down prayer requests, or go through a magical process guaranteed to please God. All I had to do was be still.

Waco was a place where I cursed, questioned, and praised God. Baylor was the place where I felt the deepest intimacy with God, but I realized this Friday that our intimacy stemmed from surrounding myself with His people. Despite recent fire, Baylor is a university that points to God in the details. The architecture, required Chapel classes, and Christian faculty create an environment for faith to flourish. "Pro Ecclesia, Pro Texana" doesn't guarantee an exclusively Christian campus, but it does draw in students who want to find Godly community in college. First semester was one of the loneliest seasons I've walked through, as I avoided every club meeting and sorority dinner because I was terrified of rejection.

After Christmas break, I began attending a Campus Crusade Bible study in my residence hall. The study was full of women just like me who wanted to know Jesus more. I had to get over some self-esteem issues, but eventually I started hanging out with them outside of the study. The girls in this group showed me the radiance and splendor of biblical community. Jesus came to give us abundant life, and I believe that a major part of that abundance comes from fellowship with other believers. When those around you are talking about moments they've had with Jesus, scripture that inspired them, or God's movement in their lives, it's contagious. I get excited to meet the Jesus that my friends have met, and that excitement causes me to want to be still. I struggle the most in my relationship with God when I'm pursuing Him alone, with no community cheering me on and holding me accountable. When I surround myself with Godly people, I want to become a Godly person. When I try to become a Godly person, I'm making myself like Christ, and growing into the woman He created me to be.

I don't have to come to Waco or join a Bible study to see God's plan and love, I just have to sit in the quiet beauty of His stillness, and listen. Christian fellowship helps me sit, inspires me to pursue God, and provides friends to hold my arms up when I feel like I can't worship through a valley. Do you have a Godly community that does this? If not, I urge you to seek one out. The connection will rarely be immediate, but it will come with time if you sacrifice your insecurities and discomfort for the sake of building relationship.

Jesus had twelve.

Who's walking alongside you?

Trust

Photo Credit: Wayfarer Photography

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." Hebrews 11:1-3

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4

Preface: Firstly, excuse my looooooooong absence from this sweet place. It's so hard to prioritize time for one more thing on my list, but I'm determined to continue blogging in the midst of school, wedding planning, house hunting, and nannying!

My last blog recorded the first week of my summer, when I was on a mountaintop of sorts with the Lord. If I had continued to blog after each week of camp, you would have seen a roller coaster of emotions that can only be explained by the exponential growth I underwent at camp. Every exasperation, irritation, and celebration was necessary for my stubborn heart to believe one thing: trust God alone. When I had a sleep-deprived infant in one arm and a toddler who reeked of- well you can imagine- I needed to trust God to get those babies and I through the next ten minutes. When I had a middle schooler who accepted Jesus as her savior three days prior ask me a thousand questions about the Lord, I had to trust God to answer her questions through me. When I faced a week of leading middle school girls after seven weeks of being a camp counselor, I had to trust that God would handle my emotional, physical, and spiritual deprivation. In every weary moment this summer, I prayed for the Lord to refill and guide me- and His love never failed. I have loved people more deeply than I thought possible this summer, and it's solely because of the Lord. I can trust the Lord with my energy, emotions, and essentials.

Flash forward two months, and I'm an engaged transfer student with a full agenda every day of the week. On Sundays, I'm in church from 8:30-12:30, loving on 6th graders from 5-8, and in college group from 8:15-9:30. On Mondays I get to love on the CUTEST little baby boy as his nanny, and cook dinner/meal prep for the next day. On Tuesday, I'm in school all day, without even a lunch break to compose myself. Wednesdays are Bible study, nannying for a different precious little girl, cooking dinner, and youth all evening. Thursdays are school all day WITH a lunch break, hallelujah. Fridays are nannying all day and date nights, and Saturdays are recovery/family day. Needless to say, it's all to easy to get caught up in the pattern of living from day to day, rather than moment to moment. Finding time to plan my wedding seems laughable, and finding a place for Tim & I to live next year has been impossible. Not only is his schedule even busier than mine, but we are also college kids with student loans who have never had to worry about paying for insurance or monthly rent. Stress has been piling itself onto our shoulders as we're consumed with the major life transitions that are only nine months away. There isn't time in the day or money in our pockets to manage real-life adulthood.

But don't we worship a God who created time? Don't we pray to a God of miracles?

Living in faith is a scary, seemingly illogical thought. But um... isn't that the definition of faith? Believing in the unknown, unproved, intangible? It's so easy to get caught up in the American Dream ideal that you have to work yourself to the bones in order to live in this world. You have to make a certain amount of money each month, you have to fill your schedule to a certain point to be successful, and you have to rely solely on your own efforts because you're a young independent with something to prove.

Did the Israelites do anything to free themselves? Did they part the Red Sea with their own hands? Did they tear the wall of Jericho down brick by brick? Did Solomon become wise because he holed himself up in a library all day, everyday? Did the disciples cast out demons because they had a college degree in exorcism? Did Paul free himself from prison?

NO!

Each and every story in the Bible is a tale of God's strength, not human strength. Not a single one of our Biblical heroes could have performed the miracles their lives were marked by. The freedom, protection, guidance, and power that God's people experienced were completely in their Savior's hands. The sheer belief that God would provide for them was enough to set the captives free. But God isn't solely in the freedom business. He created our bodies and minds, and he knows exactly what we need to have the abundant life that He promises us. Who are we, mere mortals, to believe that the Creator of the universe doesn't have a plan for our lives that includes joy? Jesus promises us abundant life, life full of joy and love and peace and kindness and satisfaction in Him. If we walk with Jesus, he'll take care of our every need. His plan for us can't be changed because of our own inadequacies or weaknesses, his plan for us is unchangeable, just like his power and love. When you're feeling overwhelmed and all control is slipping through your fingers, recognize that the enemy is trying to steal your joy and destroy your faith, and pray. The Father longs to protect and provide for his children, all you have to do is let him.