Freedom

"He forgives all my sins and heals my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's!"

Psalm 103:3-5

Raise your hand if you've ever felt ashamed. Guilty. Unworthy. Chained.

I know this feeling well, as I'm surrounded by a world filled with seemingly perfect people. Whether it's the airbrushed model in an advertisement, the virtuous church member across the aisle, or the polished mother with a thriving blog and voluminous blowout, our culture presents insurmountable expectations for women to hurdle. What culture and society deems as "right" constantly changes, and by the time you've jammed yourself into a box of idealism, the standard has shifted. Imagine an acrobat striving to catch the high bar during a free-fall, failing every time, and you'll capture the condition of the human heart. Sometimes your fingers brush the cool metal, and sometimes you can't muster the courage to jump. Maybe you're so paralyzed with the fear of failure that you haven't even climbed up the platform, but remain on the ground frozen under the pressure of the fall.

This is not the life we were created for.

We were created to live under the privilege of our royal status as daughters of the King.

We were created to thrive in our natural gifting without measuring ourselves against a certain standard of creativity, beauty, value, or efficiency.

We were created to rejoice in our Father as He delights in us, His spotless and beautiful children.

In my devotional this morning, I discovered the perfect retaliation against culture's ludicrous expectations. As Paul is discussing laws and regulations regarding clean and unclean food, he asks a simple, defiant question that applies to so much more than dietary restrictions:

"For why should my freedom be limited by what someone else thinks?"

Can you say "hallelujah?"

The first churches to form after Christ's resurrection were struggling to balance cultural expectations with spiritual truths just as we are today. Today, pastors chase after culture so their church can stay relevant and trendy to high-maintenance millenials. Graphic designers create beautiful, Pinterest-worthy content to advertise Bible studies, sermon series, and worship events. Worship leaders have a definitive "look" based on the freshest lines at H&M and Pacsun. Keynote speakers walk the wobbly tightrope between building a fanbase and adhering to scripture, only to be persecuted when they go a step too far. The church today focuses so much on outward perfection that it can be easy to forget the purpose behind the polished printout. Following clothing trends is not a sin, agonizing over fonts and color schemes doesn't lead baby believers astray, and having thousands of followers on social media doesn't make you superficial. The risk of being culturally relevant is that endless striving and rebranding focuses less on faith, scripture, and grace and more on flashiness, tweeting, and screentime. When you look to Instagram or church attendance to validate you, you're ignoring the simple freedom of running with Christ. You're hovered over your computer when Jesus wants you to lay in the wildflowers. You're agonizing over the perfect morning devotional shot when the Holy Spirit is calling you to be humbly genuine. You're creating a Pinterest board of scriptures that you've never read with your own eyes in an actual Bible. Why do we succumb to the cultural pressure to compete and look a certain way when God designed us to thrive in our unique nature, barefoot and untamed? Why have we twisted Christian pillars to adhere to cultural norms?

Everyone's interpretation of freedom is different, but the freedom available to you and I as believers is clearly defined. To understand and shape your freedom in Christ, I thought it best to focus on the three principles of salvation: sola scriptura, sola gratia, and sola fide.

Sola scriptura, or by scripture alone, forms the essential moral code for Christianity. We must not check ourselves against our neighbor, a textbook, or a government, we must check ourselves against the Word of God alone. It is the only rulebook that never changes, never becomes outdated, and never fails. Live by His Word, and you'll find the life you were made for. 

Sola gratia, or by grace alone, counters any argument concerning salvation or righteousness. We are righteous by the grace of God alone. Our value in the Kingdom of Heaven is not determined by our goodness, virtue, service, or church hours. Our value in the Kingdom of Heaven is defined solely by the voluntary death of a perfect and blameless King, who walked through the same devastation and disappointment that every human does, yet escaped triumphant against sin. You cannot make yourself any more or less worthy of God's grace after accepting Christ as your savior. God is going to use you regardless of your track record or spiritual prowess. 

Sola fide, or by faith alone, is the key to the prior pillars of Christianity. Your faith in Christ alone unlocks the key to God's perfect, unending grace. Your faith in Christ alone opens your soul to the Holy Spirit, who uses scripture to lead you along the path of righteousness. Unless you believe that Christ is the Son of God, the divine and perfect King above all kings, you cannot walk in freedom. Faith is freedom. When you trust that God is who He says He is, every other truth in the Bible becomes your heart's cry. With faith, you trust that your value is found in Christ. With faith, you trust that your sin has been washed away by the blood of Jesus. With faith, you trust that nothing in this life compares to the joy found in Jesus. 

When you love God more than anything else, the shackles of society break. You cannot be bound by insecurity and comparison when your eyes are locked on Jesus. 

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

Galatians 5:16, 22-23

There is no limit to the fruit you can bear through the Holy Spirit. There is no limit to the blessing that God can pour out in your life. There is no limit to the reach of Christ's redemptive power. Whether you've failed to meet the expectations of man or the commandments of scripture, take heart in this: your freedom is unlimited in Christ. Don't allow yourself to be influenced by unbiblical culture or unrealistic expectations. Spend time with the Lord daily, and discover what He has to say about living righteously. Abide in Christ, and you will bear fruit. Your worth is not determined by your own efforts, and that alone is freeing. Your worth and freedom are based solely on Christ's sacrifice for you, and that is irreversible and unchangeable. 

I love Jess Connolly's monologue on Eve. Eve may have a nasty reputation for committing the first sin, but there was a time before the Fall. No one knows how long Eve ran wild around Eden before the serpent came along. In her work Wild and Free, Connolly defines the freedom that Eve experienced with God as living "in a very pure and wild state, secure in who she was and confident in her purpose... [her] identity and purpose are uncomplicated and unhindered by [her] own insecurity or need for acknowledgement." In the Garden, Adam and Eve had ONE rule: don't eat the fruit on this tree. God didn't hand out a list of commandments until the Israelites got unruly in Exodus. Jesus came and streamlined those commandments into one rule: love God, and love others. Paul spent the majority of the New Testament sorting out cultural law from spiritual law. This reveals that God doesn't desire for us to live under a set of laws and regulations, but to run wild and carefree under His banner of love. When you find yourself securely in God's love, you'll obey and please Him out of gratitude and worship, not out of obligation or social pressure. 

"Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God's mercy"

1 Peter 2: 10

Friends, what's more freeing than that?

2K16

2016 was a great year. While I could reminisce for paragraphs about the many highs and lows of the past 12 months, I thought instead to reminisce about all that the Lord taught me this year. 

1.     Things are never as bad as they seem. 

"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! 

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."

Psalm 30:5

      After my family went on a trip to NYC in January, I drove from Austin-Bergstrom to Baylor in tears. I wouldn't see my family again for what felt like ages, my fiancé was in another country on a mission trip, I was going back to a school where I felt out of place, and I had no idea what to expect in the new semester. I sobbed as I drove away from my family and one of the best vacations ever because I was terrified of the unfamiliar. There was no way I could have known that I would meet half of my bride tribe that semester in a Bible Study I forced myself to go to. There was no way I could have known that I would solidify friendships that were barely formed when I left for Christmas break. There was no way I could have known how much I would grieve the loss of Baylor just three months after transferring out. My perspective at the beginning of that season was dim and bleak because I was allowing myself to be guided by my own doubt and fear rather than my God's hope and joy. 

2.     Rest is good. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

      This lesson came hard at the beginning of the school year, when nearly all of my friends at Baylor joined sororities and couldn't spend as much time with me as they had before. I was crushed. Just as I had settled into freshman year, everything changed all over again. It was a miracle if I could find someone to eat dinner with on a Monday night. My days were long and empty, while everyone around me was spinning in a thousand directions. I beat myself up because everyone seemed to be busier than me, had more tasks to accomplish and more friends to meet up with. I grew weary with the ample free time my days held. Eventually, I realized that there was no point in feeling guilty for having free time. I can confidently say that those days of emptiness brought me closer to the Lord and enabled me to discover myself in a way that many of my peers didn't have the time to do. I had so much free time, in fact, that I was able to take hour-long walks every Sunday night around campus. As the sun set, I would listen to podcasts and decompress from whatever stress had accumulated the week before. My life was beautifully slow that semester, and I wouldn't sacrifice a single moment of peace for an enhanced resume. 

3.     Comparison is the thief of joy. 

"Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, 'I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,' that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, 'I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,' would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it."

1 Corinthians 12:14-18

      This is a lesson that everyone, especially women, struggle with throughout their life, and the Lord truly hammered this truth to my soul this summer serving as a camp counselor. I was a seasoned expert when it came to comparing myself to other women physically, but was entirely unprepared for comparing myself to other women's inward beauty. At camp, I was surrounded by women who were strikingly different from me in the best way; women who were more mature, friendlier, more responsible, more flexible, more humble, more artistic, and more social than me. If you've ever felt like everyone has a clique or a best friend except for you, then you can imagine how I felt. My personal insecurities caused me to believe that those who were different from me were somehow better than me. Other counselors seemed to be so much more popular with campers, befriended more counselors, or created more beautiful signs and decor than I ever could. I failed to see that I brought gifts and opinions to the table that others could not, and I separated myself from others because of it. My pride got in the way of sacrificing my own comforts to alleviate other people's burdens, which was practically the mission statement of camp. Christ did not compare himself to other figures and teachers, he just did what the Father told him to do. Jesus may have been the center of attention during his three years of ministry, but that attention didn't stop his crucifixion.

4.     Expectations are the root of disappointment.  

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Psalm 118:8

      This statement has been repeated by my best friends for the majority of the year, as we've lamented the conflicts that arise after an expectation goes unmet. Every relationship, even your relationship with yourself, suffers conflict after one party fails to meet another's assumptions. I've learned that the best way to walk into each day is one step at a time, not checking the map for what's ahead, but just matching my pace to my breath. As someone who LOVES to plan ahead, this has been a major challenge, but I have never been disappointed less than when I capture my expectations. I look to the Lord to satisfy me, and try to love those who cross my path. When you trust God above anyone else, you'll be less affected by other people's selfishness and thoughtlessness. In relationships, you have to realize that no human is perfect, and no human can read minds. If you haven't communicated your expectations with someone, you have little right to get mad when things don't work out. Even when they fail you though, and they will, give grace. Jesus has certainly given us ample grace for the many times we've failed to meet his expectations.

5. Grace, grace, grace.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

Matthew 5:7

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

1 Peter 5:5

"For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment."

James 2:13

"But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Matthew 6:15

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience..."

Colossians 3:12

      

      Clearly, I'm passionate about this subject. This last semester has presented more opportunities than I've ever known to give grace to others and myself. Getting engaged has forced me to grow up more quickly than my peers, and I've failed myself too many times to count as I've struggled to understand living expenses, insurance, career paths, and the adult world. I've learned that shame is not from the Lord, but from the enemy. If the enemy can cause us to feel guilty and ashamed, then we consequently will cover ourselves and hide from God, as Adam and Eve did in the Garden. We must give grace to ourselves when we try and fail, or when we don't try at all and knew we should have. Repentance and shame are entirely different; repentance is an action, shame is a cycle. Giving grace to others, depending on the person, is infinitely more difficult or easier than giving grace to yourself. This semester has been filled with transition, for myself and everyone around me. I've disappointed others and have been disappointed by others more than any other season in my life. The Bible tells us that those who forgive will be forgiven, and that those who hold grudges will not be. Remember the story of the servant who owed his master a debt? The master forgave his servant, and moments after expressing his gratefulness, the servant encountered a man who owed him debts. Rather than forgiving the man as his master had forgiven him, the servant persecuted and prosecuted the man, completely ignoring the forgiveness he'd been shown. I've learned this year that grace is instant forgiveness. Giving grace is the only way you can go through life without pessimism. It's not easy to instantly forgive, but it is freeing. After giving grace as much as possible for the past few months, the forgiveness has turned into straight up forgetting. I can't even remember what people have done to hurt me, intentionally or accidentally, because I'm no longer allowing myself to focus on others' faults. When you shift your focus from the sins of others to the perfection of Christ, it's impossible to hold grudges. This is easily the most life-changing lesson I've learned this year, because healing comes from the divine grace of God. If we have the Spirit of God within us, we have every ability to forgive sins as He does. When Christ died on the cross, God forgave every sin for all of mankind. He's never looked back on our sins, but has separated our imperfection from His righteousness as far as the east is from the west. Shouldn't we practice the same grace to others?

Represent

"And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."

Colossians 3:17

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."

Philippians 2:14-15

Today in my film class, we discussed the purpose and effect of violence in media. We've watched films with various degrees of violence, from Casablanca to Pulp Fiction. When my professor asked what I thought of violence in media, I admitted I don't watch gory films. I believe images are powerful, and that violent images demoralize viewers and decrease their ability to sympathize with others. Personally, one way I can live purely, as Scripture calls me to, is to focus my mind on things above rather than cheap entertainment. Gruesome films provide little benefit, other than possibly enlightening viewers on the devastation of war or genocide.

Minutes after my confession, I was stopped by a photographer from the campus newspaper, who asked if she could take a picture of me for the Student Style section. I happened to be wearing my Girls Are Not For Sale shirt from The NET store for a photo shoot later this afternoon, and suddenly had an opportunity to share a bit of Jesus with an unexpected audience. The photo shoot is for my blog post this Thursday on women's true worth, but now my message will be broadcasted to faculty and students all over my campus. Today I've had two obvious opportunities to represent Jesus, but how many subtle opportunities have passed by, unnoticed? Have I used edifying language today on my walk to class with my fiancé? Did I smile at a stranger who feels invisible? Could I have struck up a conversation with that photographer about the spiritual aspect of my shirt? 

We have a thousand chances each day to share the Gospel. Scripture tells us that we are children of light, that we should shine like a city on a hill. Honestly, how bright is your light? How much impact can you truly have on a stranger without accidentally deterring them from Christ? Some of you may have rejection stories after you tried to invite someone to church or a Bible study. Maybe you've been directly persecuted for wearing a shirt with a Christian message, or maybe you've been called a hypocrite for marking yourself as a Christ-follower after a life filled with darkness. Maybe you're an eager middle schooler who will invite anyone you can get your hands on to youth group. Whatever your situation, know this: God has equipped you with all the wiring necessary to shine.

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to do what pleases him."

Philippians 2:13

God will never call you to stand for Him alone. Outwardly, you may look isolated or forsaken; inwardly, you have the Spirit of God Himself beside you. In Luke 12, Jesus tells his disciples that the Holy Spirit will give them the right words in times of oppression and persecution. Later, in Acts 1, Jesus appeared to his disciples after the Resurrection and promised they would receive the Holy Spirit as a guide and witness. Throughout Acts, we see Christians perform miracles and bring people to Christ after being filled with the Holy Spirit. Before the Spirit was sent to them, they were moral people who loved Jesus. After the Spirit was sent to them, they were world changers who were divinely guided in every opportunity. This is exactly what we are called to, believers. We are called to be divinely guided in every opportunity. We are called to be on guard and stand firm in our faith, to be courageous and strong, as 1 Corinthians 16:13 commands. We are called to stay alert and clearheaded in our pursuit towards righteousness in 1 Thessalonians 5:6. Ephesians 5:17 warns believers not to act thoughtlessly, but to understand what the Lord wants them to do. 

Each of these verses applies to you, if you believe that Jesus Christ is the prophesied Messiah and the sole path to eternal life with God. You won't have the time or energy to verbally preach the Gospel to everyone you pass by, but you do need to set yourself apart from the world by the way you live. Maybe an opportunity will come along to defy cultural norms in favor of holy commandments. Maybe someone will ask you what your tattoo means, or why your t-shirt says girls aren't for sale. Maybe you'll have the chance to incorporate spiritual truths into your speech at school. If you take a few moments each day to ask the Holy Spirit what the day holds for the Kingdom of Heaven, you may be surprised at the lost and hurting people you encounter. Everyone needs to encounter Christ's love in their day, and He's given you the resources to share it. You have a mouth that speaks, you have a face that can smile, you have a mind that can decide what to participate in and what to refrain from. 'Tis the season for lights and giving, why not shine your light and give Jesus to someone?

The Story

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.

Proverbs 19:21

Isn't our Lord so sweet and tender in the way He reveals truth to us? As I raise my hands in worship, fall on my knees before Him, or pray in my bed at night over worries and fears for tomorrow, God always reminds me of His might, His goodness, and His loyalty. A few nights ago, I was worshipping to Steffany Gretzinger's "Out of Hiding" before bed, when the Holy Spirit gave me inspiration for this post. "Out of Hiding" is a plea from Jesus to drop our defenses and give into His love. The song is filled with love-soaked promises and declarations, and the line that sunk an arrow into my heart echoes throughout the bridge. 

"Oh as you run, what hindered love will only become part of the story."

When I heard that line, the Holy Spirit gave me an image of an elaborately intertwined vine growing up, over, and around a pale pink flower. He told me that the flower was me, was you, was him and her, and that His plan for our lives and His love for us are as entangled with our everyday lives as the vines and weeds of an untamed garden. A few summers ago at a youth conference, God used a series of events to show me how elaborate and intricate His plans for me are, and I firmly believe that His plan for you is no more or less than His plan for me. Every person you meet, every decision you make, every opinion that you allow to become a fact in your heart and mind are part of the glorious unfolding He wants to bring through your humble life. Psalm 139 declares that God knit every piece of you, that He personally selected every fiber and thread of your being to form the person you are today. Whether you like the yarns that form you or not, He has a purpose in each one. One version of Psalm 139:14 reads "the greatness of the way I was made brings fear." That means your formation was so glorious, so grandiose, that the method would bring awe and wonder to man if we could understand it. You were placed on earth for a divine purpose, to bring attention to the Gospel and the God behind it in some way. 

On a deeper level, past the basics of your formation, God has handwritten your story in a series of sagas and chronicles that will take a lifetime to peruse. God's plans are to prosper you, to give you hope and a future with Him. Unfortunately we live in a sin-ridden world and have been given the free will to obey or not to obey God's plan, so there's a high chance that we may take some detours and wrong turns every now and then. The incredible aspect of our omniscient God is that He knows the route we'll choose to take anyway, and His plan leaves plenty of opportunity for us to jump back on the straight and narrow path. Imagine a windy, lengthy road map filled with ample rest stops and scenic outlooks. The path God has for you may involve a steep uphill climb, or a leap of faith across some great gorge, but the end goal for every person is to fall into the arms of Jesus in eternity. This undeniable truth, that our ultimate purpose is to find communion with Christ, leads us back to the bridge of "Out of Hiding." The uphill climb that seemed like a setback in your plan didn't escape God's notice. The struggle you've had your entire life, the thorn in your side you can't pinch out, is an integral part of the story God has written for you. Am I saying that God purposefully puts tragedies and darkness in your life? No. What I mean to tell you is that there isn't any chapter of your life too dark or twisted for God to illuminate. Your eating disorder, the abuse you experienced in childhood, the loneliness you feel engulfed by today, the financial anxieties you're chained to, and the distorted image you see reflected in the mirror can all be used in your story for God's glory. 

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my struggle with forgiveness. The majority of the people I had to forgive were first graders, second graders, and third graders who abandoned me as a little girl, kids who picked on me for being uncoordinated, middle class, or just plain different from other girls. The reasons for their teasing are so insignificant as an adult, but the jabs and cuts they left on me formed scars that have shaped my self-image for the past twelve years. Instead of acknowledging my acceptance in the kingdom of heaven, I focused on the rejection that plagued me throughout childhood. I began reading obsessively to avoid social interaction, because if I didn't talk to anyone, than no one could reject me. Later in adolescence, I became consumed with dating and romance because I believed that if someone fell in love with me, there would be one more person who would never reject me. Eventually, every aspect of my appearance and character was scrutinized to make sure I measured up to the person I believed everyone wanted me to be. My middle and high school years were exhausting, depressing, and so distant from God's plan. Graduating high school was a relief, because I didn't have to put up a facade against the same people I'd been faking it to for twelve years anymore. If only I'd realized that no one actually expected me to be the person I tried so hard to be. 

Thankfully, I've experienced tremendous healing from my childhood pains, and now walking in the identity God created for me. The all-consuming insecurities and self-hatred I experienced as a preteen and teenager were painful and damaging, but they have given me immense patience for the teenagers I see weekly as a youth leader. My history with an eating disorder causes my heart to break for girls who struggle with body image even more than I did. I viewed myself in such an unhealthy light as a kid that my self-image kept me from giving and receiving Christ's love. The very darkness that hindered love in my life has set a fire in my heart that enables me to cast a torch over similar struggles in other people's lives. The bridge of "Out of Hiding" has a grip over me because of the hopefulness it gives to every struggle you'll ever face.

"Oh as you run [towards God], what hindered [your acceptance of] love will only become part of the story [God has written for you]."

God's story for each of us is infinitely more intricate than we could ever imagine. Every person we meet, every conversation we have, every opinion we form has a purpose in His inevitably beautiful plan for our lives. Regardless of what your life looks like now, when God wrote the final chapter of your story, He leaned back and said "It is good".