Complacency

"The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
-Frederick Buechner

This quote struck me hard this past week at college orientation. How amazing that the Lord would connect my recent calling to mission with my longing for travel and complacency in the states. He instilled a desire for service and travel in me to further his kingdom, and has called me to a spiritually dark and impoverished people group. The thought that I, a typical college student, could impact a young girl in sex trafficking, a desperate man stealing loose change to make ends meet, or a single mother whose children scavenge in the city dump for meals, blows my mind. God's awesome power and steadfast love will equip me far more than any program or funding ever could. He's going to provide for me in incredible ways, because there's no way on earth I could accomplish anything in the kingdom without his provision and blessing. Simply put, missions is where my deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
While I'm overjoyed to have a purpose and renewed passion for the Father, I can't help but be heartbroken for those who are stuck where I was just six months ago. Complacent Christianity dominates the American church to a horrifying extent, and it absolutely destroys God's heart. Imagine a man whose love, power, and resources surpass measure. Imagine this wealthy philanthropist sees his son or daughter is struggling to pay off their college debt, going through a breakup, or feels lonely and worthless. How foolish would the son or daughter be to refuse his help? "No, I don't need your money, I'd rather work sixty hours a week for the next twenty years and live on the poverty line." "That's nice of you to say you collect my every tear and all, but I think I'll settle into the next available rebound instead." "Thanks for the sympathy Dad, but I'd rather sit in my depression."
Y'all, this is how we treat God EVERY DAY. He has a beautiful story written for us, but so often our pride gets in the way as we try to take control our own lives. While you're struggling to make ends meet, there's a God who owns all the money in the world that's only a prayer away. His heart is to defend the poor, rescue the needy, and crush your oppressors (Psalm 71:4). He cares about every need you have, from debt to loneliness to aimlessness. How destitute must the human heart become before it recognizes its deep need for Christ? Christ's heart beats for you. His life was dedicated to saving yours. He's your rescuer and redeemer. Pursue him daily, give your heart and life to him every morning, and trust in his provision. "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." (Ephesians 5:14)

Hearts

This summer has been astounding. Correction: the Lord is astounding. June and July have been abundant in blessing, joy, compassion, and revelation. God is good. He longs to bless his children in any way he can, and he will grant the desires of their hearts. Tread carefully here, he doesn't grant the desires of our fleshly, worldly, selfish hearts- he grants the desires of our redeemed, restored, reborn hearts. Those hearts, touched by Christ, eventually desire the will of God. Deep deep down, we all have inner passions, goals, and longings that were planted by our Creator. The sweetest offering we can bring before the Father is the thing that has the power to depress and elate, to give or steal, to wound or encourage: our hearts.
To seek the praise of God is to seek fulfillment, but to seek the praise of man is to seek destruction. Nearly every sin I've committed is rooted in my tendency to throw my heart to men. I long for recognition, intimacy, encouragement, stability, and love. These longings are made perfect in Christ, but are devastated by men. I was a withered tree, doomed to dormancy and idleness; I was burdened with pride, selfishness, lust, and hatred. These past few weeks, I've focused in worship and prayer on giving the Lord my entire heart, and he's brought fruit from my withered soul.
Pursuing Christ has rocked my world, y'all. He's showering me with such abundant blessing, I couldn't dry off if I tried. Every prayer, minute and massive, has been answered- especially this past month. Preceding a recent trip to Colorado, my youth pastor encouraged our student ministry to ask the Lord what he wanted to reveal to us in the mountains. For several months now, I've been begging God to connect me with people who were passionately chasing after him. When I shut my eyes to pray, however, the word "calling" flashed through my mind. "Destiny" quickly followed. So I prayed. I prayed every day for a week that the Lord would reveal my calling and destiny. After that week, the longing was buried under fresher desires, as the dearth of direction for my life widened. Praise be to God, for he neglects nothing. A week after I'd ceased my fervency, I had a vision of what God has always planned for me to do, what he planted in my heart long before I was conceived. My calling was revealed. I don't feel a peace about sharing it just yet, but please recognize the Lord's faithfulness in this. He is a loyal lover and friend, a caring counselor.
Not only has God revealed my calling to me, but he's also connected me with a few amazing, indescribable, passionate people who are sprinting after the cross. I have no doubt that these people will partner alongside me in the pursuit of God, and they love me just as he does. Y'all, he desires to satisfy our every craving, our every need. He wants our hearts! Our slimy, filthy, abused and sinful hearts! He turns our beauty to ashes and rescues the lost sheep. There's nothing more beautiful than the soul of a person who's recognized their deep need for the Gospel. Let his radiance glow within you, and his spirit work through you. Dedicate your everything to Christ, and he will bless it!

Progress

Each day holds blessings and struggles. Each day, you and I have an opportunity to fight for joy, give in to melancholy, or drown in despondency. Despite the day's circumstances, attitude is a choice. Everyone has experienced trials, whether its a cancer diagnosis, a break-up, or a career termination. No trial is any less impactful or significant than another, because everyone's perception of what is "difficult", "traumatic", or "depressing" is different. Personally, I've been dealing with an onslaught of memories concerning someone I used to be very close to. These recollections sneak into my thoughts during my quiet time, while I'm sitting in a desk at school, and when I'm laying in bed at night. I'm also trying to accept the fact that the Lord wants me to stay single for an indefinite amount of time-a difficult task for someone who recently got out of a two-year relationship. Amazing guys step out of the background of my life, just to float back into the abyss due to "bad timing". I begin comparing myself to other girls, settling for lower-caliber guys, desperately pursuing love and affection to fill the void left by my break-up that I know only the Lord can fill.
For what seems like the first time in my life, I'm truly pursuing a relationship with God, yet I can't manage to escape my past desires and longings.
Needless to say, its frustrating.
Maybe your current struggle seems more life-changing than mine. Perhaps you're like my amazing friend, T, who's praying for a miracle to heal his grandmother's tumors. Perhaps you're like someone I used to know who lost a family member to suicide. Perhaps you're floundering in debt, or guilt, or failure.
Whatever your struggle, God can lift you out of it. Yes, you've heard that a thousand times before. You've read every Bible verse, self-help book, and inspirational blog post about suffering, to no avail. But I'm not here to inspire you, simply to act as Jesus does- by sitting in your struggle with you. Jesus doesn't give us an escape route to flee from sorrows, but he does promise to walk us through it. Regardless of how phenomenal your friends and family are, they are only human. They will fail you at one point or another, whether it's intentional or accidental. That's the beautiful thing about Christ- he's without fault. He's incapable of failure. Do you really expect the Creator of the Universe and Ultimate Sacrifice to let you drown?
Each morning in my quiet time, I sit on the back porch and watch as the morning dew and soft sunrise coats the wildflowers in remarkable serenity. I gaze, awestruck, at the flowers that were small blooms just one day before. God has been teaching me something through His creation: He handcrafted those flowers to sprinkle beauty into my life. Each petal, each bloom, each stalk serves as a tiny Tiffany box from the Lord. The key to finding joy in tribulation is trusting in God's provision and seeking the beautiful in the everyday. Christ created music, flowers, and books to fill our souls with pleasure. Don't allow your problems to take center stage while His creation flitters in the background. Take a deep breath and lift your eyes to the masterpiece of life.

"I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in His presence, rejoicing in His whole world and delighting in mankind."
Proverbs 8:30b-31

Epiphany

As school and autumn have gotten into full swing, I've sensed myself getting more and more ornery. I blamed schoolwork, other people, my job. Never for a moment, until today, did I stop to consider that maybe my emotional state was connected to my spiritual walk. Revolutionary, I know. This is a constant cycle for me, whenever my relationship with Christ falls off my priority list, my emotions take a nosedive. 

The amazing thing is, even when I forget to write in my prayer journal in the morning or neglect worship sessions for daydreaming, God never fails to meet my needs. Days of depression or anxiety are met with unexpected encouragements and good conversations. Joy will embrace me when I'm angry and confused.

So to anyone who feels like giving up or "just can't even" today, take a step back to look at your spiritual life. A moment with God will help more than a cup of coffee or a nap ever could. 

Ready... set....

GO! Is the expected end to the post title. The race has begun, it's time to go-go-go! But this post isn't about the going, it's about the... Well, the ready-setting. Today's inspiration came from this lovely anonymous quote: 

Now that may not apply to anyone else reading, but it's particularly true for me. As long as I can remember, I've struggled with fear. My fears have grown and transfigured with me through the years, shifting from one boggart into the next (yes, that is a Harry Potter reference. So what). From monsters to exclusion to the uncertain future, fear has always had an unpleasant way of controlling how I love my life. 

Lately, fear has manifested itself in the college application process. Finding a way to pay for the school of my dreams and construct a resume impressive enough to get into it has paralyzed me to a degree of procrastination. To echo the above quote, I have been waiting until I felt ready. But what a cowardly move for something so simple! As Paul rightly proclaimed in 2nd Timothy 1:7, "God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 

What fear do you struggle with? What is holding you back? According to The Word, we as sons and daughters of Christ have the POWER to overcome our fears, LOVE strong enough to set aside our struggles for what's right, and SELF-DISCIPLINE to get 'er done. If The Lord has proclaimed this over you and I, who are we to deny it? Today, don't shirk away from life and God's calling on your's. Turn from the darkness of fear to the rising sun of courage, and face whatever fear has held you back from. Stop hiding your faith from your unsaved coworkers, tackle the messy topics in your relationships, apply for that college! You may never be ready, but God always is. So ready... set... 

"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer." -F. Scott Fitzgerald

For me, summer is the season when God seems to mold me the most. Perhaps it's my distance from negative influences, more time in my days, perhaps it's the abundance of camps and conferences I attend, whatever it is, the Lord speaks loudest to me in the summer. I realized yesterday- the first day of August!- that summer was winding down. The season was an uphill bike ride, slowly moving forward, taking its time, but out of nowhere, the hilltop appeared and the swift downhill journey began. My days are zipping by, and before I know it school will have started and I will be busier than ever with my senior year. So while I have the time, I'm going to forever commemorate these lessons in this blog. 

1. The world does not revolve around me.
• I am a selfish human being, always wanting my way and expecting things to happen as I want them to. This summer, I've begun to learn how to sacrifice what I want in order to love others like Jesus wants me to.
2. God has plans for my future, and I need to trust them.
• There were a few things concerning my future that I'd been keeping quite a tight grip on, hidden away from the Lord. God used a few encounters with amazing people to show me that what He has for me is the best possible thing FOR ME. His plans are higher than mine, and He holds my future. 
3. There is opportunity for joy in everything.
• This is something I witnessed in the greatest of tragedies and the most average of days. This summer, I watched people I love overcome loss and avoid terminal depression in it. I also saw my sweet, sweet grandparents laugh at everything, smile in every conversation, and just enjoy life. God offers joy every minute, every second. I just have to set aside my bitterness/exhaustion/selfishness and embrace it.

There's a ton of other little things that I learned this summer, but these are the main points from which most of the smaller points flow. I hope at least one person reading this could learn a bit from my spiritual epiphanies this summer, and that you'll come closer to the Lord through it. 

-Madison